True Happiness
Most people view their absence as the cause of their unhappiness or frustration. After all, wouldn't life be better if the people who are important to us are just doing the things we want them to do or doing what we think is best for them? In fact, it is a type of thinking that perpetuates grief! I agree that most of today's unhappiness is focused on the most important people in our lives who do not work with us. Is anyone connected with that?
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| True Happiness |
Have you ever had a child make a decision that puts them at great risk? Have you ever had an important decision to move or to take a job that you did not agree with? Did one of your parents ever say something that made you feel bad about yourself? Have you ever had a manager in charge of your work and never given credit for your good work? I think you get the idea. Any one or a combination of these can be a source of frustration for us and I am sure you can add many others to the list.
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True Happiness
When we are in situations like this, it really feels like others in our lives would just be together and be the way we want them to be, and then our lives would be better, happier and more fulfilling. While this may be true, what I believe is this. While we are busy trying to get others who are important in our lives to do things our way, the character we often share in moving others to the direction we want are the very behaviors that are harmful, and ultimately destructive to our relationships.
You know the behaviors I talk about: punishing, breaking the law, complaining, threatening, threatening, criticizing, “silent treatment”, and if we have great intelligence, we have the reward of control, otherwise known as bribery. If you are one of those people their choice of the first action to negotiate and open the doors of communication, then it is rare. Ask yourself what you usually do when negotiations fail? I know that one of my most polished behaviors is hate. I am a world-class nag - just ask my kids.
True Happiness
He knows how to play football. “How about cleaning your room today?” Thirty minutes later, after the child is in front of his video game, "Are you coming to that room today?" Maybe after two hours, many decibels sounded loud, “What about that Room? ”Then, as a last resort, it is“ Would you get rid of your lazy and clean your empty empty room !!!! ”Have you ever been there? Did it work to clean the room? In my case, that was usually not the case. However, I have had parents tell me that repeated insistence works but my next question often has a different answer - At what cost?
What was the cost of cleaning the room? First, there has been the cost of losing control and being a person you may not want to be and secondly, there have been some costs in the relationship between you and your child. Do you believe that after an exchange like that, both of you will be ready and willing to have a meaningful conversation about life or anything else you would like to talk about? Probably not.
True Happiness
What I am going to say is probably contrary to what you have believed in most of your life and that you are the only one, responsible for your happiness. If you are waiting for someone to do something different or something that has manifested itself in your life to be happy, then you are working from the inside out inside and out. I'm not here to tell you to stop what you're doing right now. If you want to adhere to your beliefs that the more loving your husband is, the more obedient your children will be, the more supportive your wife will be, the better your manager will be or you will receive your education, pay your credit cards, buy your first house, and so on. to be happy, then go ahead.
But for those of us who want to practice inner thinking, we do not want to empower others to control our happiness or any of our other feelings or emotions. We know that we are responsible for ourselves and not for anyone else. What I can help you with is learning how to be the person you want to be, the feelings you want to feel about the change you are making and how you think about things. There is a quote I want to leave you with from Jimmy Dean.
True Happiness
"You can't change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sail." This represents true inner thinking. People and events will be what they are around. There is very little we can do to influence other people's behavior and uncontrollable events in our lives but there is always something each of us can do to manage those things better.
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